The Nabhi Chakra and Accepting the Commitment of Motherhood

For the yoga mama, pregnancy is a revolutionary process, as well as an evolutionary one, for both mama and baby-to-be. If it is the first time pregnant, never before has a soul entered your body and ignited a process of growing into a spirited human being. For the first or third time, it is a miracle. Why miracle? Millions of cells figuring out their exquisite place in the being and body, all in the effort to create a bouncing baby with bright eyes and silky skin. If that is not considered miraculous to the scientifically-minded, if it all works out generally healthy and well, alive, then there is another piece of evidence. But the true miracle lies in what gives this little human it’s umph, it’s joie de vivre, it’s energy and gusto to want to grow, play, love, work, create, laugh, and search for a reason for being, for it’s mission in life. I believe this is the soul’s yearning: to manifest in this earthly realm the divine purpose. Every single one of us must create a path to discover, or perhaps, uncover, these truths of divinity. As yogis, we believe we have chosen karmically, our parents and our conditions that will help us to reach and re-unify with the Light/Divine, what some call God. When we choose to become pregnant, or leave ourselves open for this beautiful thing to happen, and thus, are chosen by this potential being, we are initiating into a path of deep commitment. This commitment requires a balance of power and sustenance.
I hadn’t thought of the commitment to have a child quite in these terms- power, sustenance, and balance. Of course, I was committing to the process- and therefore the product aka. my child. But unlike most commitments we make, this one is permanent in the earthly sense. It’s not a given though. There are those that choose to have their children adopted or cared for by another, or simply don’t make the effort to be the parent their child needs. For me, it was an obvious devotion. However deeply at 33 (my first pregnancy) I was to my path as a wandering gypsy with ambitious that would take up much time and energy to achieve, I knew it would be a challenge for me to given beyond what was comfortable, or ‘sacrifice’ my time for this child when I had other interests in addition to motherhood. I was, however, ecstatic to conceive and know that my daughter would enter the world. I was fully aware she was an integral part of my plan, and The Plan, and that not a moment of time with her was sacrifice. It was my spiritual calling to devote myself to shepherding her little flame of truth into an Eternal One who loves and laughs and shares it with others. The shocking sensation however, is that I am the one who is responsible for her blossoming. I use the word ‘sensation’ specifically, not realization, because it is a who gestalt of a feeling in my being that I am now surrogate Divine Mother, meaning, while on earth, I must feed her, clothe her, educate her, love her, try to prevent others from hurting her and ensure I give her the proper life to grow. There was no turning back now. Yes, there are others involved, namely, a father in our case, family, friends, and spirit allies, and ultimately the Divine. So of course it is not all My Responsibility. But what this triggers in me concerns my relationships to my mother, the Divine mother, the earth and the material resource.
As much as I know we are never fully ‘healed’, only in a constant process of sloughing off and renewing, I believe we must be healed ‘enough’ to be ready to commit to the divine task of being a mother. While I was reading Gurmukh Kaur Kalsa’s book on pregnancy and birth, called Beautiful, Bountiful and Blissful, she mentioned, albeit briefly about the role of the third chakra in pregnancy concerning the issue of commitment. I had not thought of this chakra related to pregnancy in this way. The root chakra and second chakras were more obvious to me. And the third chakra, around many issues but particularly balance, is absolutely and integrally relevant to pregnancy as well as motherhood. But as far as commitment is concerned, it seemed less relevant until I started thinking about it around the feelings and emotions I was having while mothering, especially after my daughter was born.
Trying to stay not only physically balanced while mothering, but also emotionally and mentally balanced are intense challenges. Physically, especially if breastfeeding, you are giving your sustenance consistently around the clock and energetically caretaking this baby so they feel safe, warm and loved. Emotionally, when it feels challenging to find the intervention that works to soothe the baby, you can feel frustrated, disappointing or even un-loving (what am I doing wrong? Why can’t she feel my soothing? goes the monologue in your head. ) Even when you and the child aligned well in body, emotions and spirit, the feeling can be overwhelming as to the utter beauty that you want to capture and maintain, thinking it’s within your power and job to do so (to an extent, it is). Finally, mentally, you must stay balanced enough to think through the best ways to take care of this little person. What does she need? Is she warm enough? Safe? Getting too much or too little of something? The mental chatter can be relentless sometimes, particularly if you start acting on those thoughts and, say, google every single symptom she has (please save yourself the suffering and don’t do this …well, not too much, anyway). So what exactly should I be committing to in this motherhooding process?
The commitment is to the connecting between the Divine and Earth Mother, between your past (mother and ancestral lineage) and your future lineage (your child or children and beyond). The centering power in this connecting is you, your being. The Vedic literature about the nabhi chakra has some interesting aspects to consider related to this issue. When researching nabhi chakra the words satisfaction and contentment arise. I think that the core human longing is to feel content, but we don’t always know how to be or what to do in order to feel this way.
And sometimes old patterns of being in the world (practically, energetically, even karmically), and conscious or unconsciously, can get in our way to balancing ourselves with contentment as our intention.
In a talk about freedom (referred to in his book, Freedom), Osho was once asked how parents can help their children grow to their full potential, without parents imposing or interfering to their detriment. Osho clearly stated that it was not parents’ function to help their children grow, only for them to nourish and support what is already growing. Our children are destined to grow, destined to love and destined to live in Truth. This is a great relief if you take this perspective. “There is only one thing you can do, and that is to share your own life,” Osho shares. I believe that is the burden I was feeling. Not to be their savior or sole caretaker physically, emotionally and spiritually, it was that I must be and continue to be living my truths, The Truth, with The Love so that I keep growing and unfolding my mission and purpose. The personal power to own my own thriving and process is profound. And the discipline to set an example to my ‘disciple’, my child. Our children are wanting to please us, to learn from us, and not only to be loved by us, but to love us. We leave space for them to do their own growing, which allows space for us to continue to grow.
I never wanted to feel like I was ‘living’ for my children. Although it is the ultimate love and for me, the greatest spiritual path one can walk, caring for my child is not my only calling, although it is a divine and perfect expression of my Divine Purpose: to love. How this manifests is in myriad ways, one of which is caring for my daughter. Osho is as bold to state that a parent should want their child to be totally free of them. But this is the greatest gift. This releases not only the child, but also us as adult children, from the past, which is the greatest hindrance in our minds.